


What we Leave Behind

by the_jade_dragon



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Action, Canon Universe, Cussing, Drinking, Fluff, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 17:52:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9835799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_jade_dragon/pseuds/the_jade_dragon
Summary: Erwin takes Levi on a surprise detour during a lengthy expedition beyond the walls, leading the two on a journey of hidden remembrances and love.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to @erwin-smith for the Eruri Valentine's Day Exchange on Tumblr. Enjoy!

Hooves drummed across the earth in a rhythmic staccato, a cloud of red dust the only trace of their trail. The evergreen grass of the interior shifted to shades of light olive and yellow, the nutrient rich dirt giving way to crumbling earth that could only host the meanest of shrubs with a few stunted trees. The late afternoon sun dipped at their backs, casting lengthy shadows before them on the cracked surface.   
  
Heavy snorting emanated from the dark muzzle of Levi’s mare, compensating for her smaller stature with more frenzied lunges to match the lengthy pace of the white gelding beside her.   
  
Levi shifted in his seat impatiently; knowing certain that once feeling returned to his numb legs they would immediately fall off before they ever touched the ground. Over 4 days of incessant riding on this expedition had been the longest Levi had ever sat in the saddle, thoroughly exhausting his body to the core.   
  
He glanced to his left, Erwin leaning forward as steady as ever on top of his galloping steed. His blue gaze scoured the flat surroundings before them, rapt with an innate focus that Levi could never hope to emulate. Levi felt impressed that Erwin appeared unaffected by this grueling trip; riding on as if this was the first time he had been in the saddle.    
  
It still annoyed Levi to all hell that Erwin still maintained his trademark Commander look; not a blond hair out of place, clear eyes unblemished by any sign of fatigue, and flawless skin that would give the young recruits a run for their money.   
  
Next to that, Levi’s hunched form probably had more in common with a filthy troll than Erwin. He was one mouthful of dirt away from turning into one too.   
  
“How much further, Erwin?” Levi coughed, invasive dust clinging inside his parched throat, “It’s been over an hour and I don’t see shit.”   
  
Erwin said, his icy eyes never wavering from the horizon, “A few more paces, I presume. As soon as we see a dip in front of us we’ll know we’re there.”   
  
Levi groaned, his aching spine begging for relief, “Whatever you dragged me out here for better be worth it; taking me away from the comfort of my tent, my tea—“    
  
“I assure you Levi,” Erwin said smoothly, a sly grin flashing across his face, “This will be well worth your trouble.”    
  
“I don’t know whether to be terrified at this unsettling response, or impressed.”   
  
A mysterious glint twinkled in those heavenly blue eyes, “You’ll soon see for yourself.”   
  
It was absolute madness for Levi to hold back a snap at such a cryptic remark, settling for a sigh that was lost to the whistling wind. Levi knew full well that it had been weeks, if not months since he had seen Erwin this pleased about anything. There was something about the way Erwin leaned forward in his saddle with clenched fists; his cloaked form unable to disguise the excitement that radiated off of every inch figure in a contagious glow.    
  
Levi wasn’t about to deny Erwin this moment of joy, for the man that asked for so little of this world.    
  
Levi looked behind him, the yellow sun shifting to a deep orange as it lowered itself through the darkening blue hue of the sky. “Thankfully it’s almost nighttime, if we’re lucky enough we won’t—“    
  
Erwin’s voice was ice, “Abnormal. Straight ahead.”   
  
Levi wheeled forward, catching sight of a familiar bulky outline across the horizon barreling towards them. “Goddamnit.”    
  
Erwin said, his right hand trailing towards his gear, “I’ll get it.”   
  
“No.” Levi turned his unsheathed blades in his hands, removing his feet from his stirrups, “This one’s mine.”   
  
Erwin grasped the reins of the mare as Levi balanced precariously on his seat; watching keenly as the Titan lumbered closer, “You’re sure about this, Levi?”   
  
“Oh yeah,” Levi smirked, snapping his maneuver gears into place, “You make much better bait.”   
  
Erwin shrugged, “You’re not wrong, from a technical viewpoint…“   
  
The rest of Erwin’s words were lost to the wind, the sounds of whirring gears and metal became the most immediate to Levi as he latched onto a boulder up ahead to his right. Erwin snapped the reins, peeling away to lead his horse and Levi’s to draw the Titan’s attention.    
  
The plan worked, the four-legged Abnormal leaping ahead to greet Erwin with its gaping maw. Its deformed hands tore up the red earth, reaching one arm forth to snatch up Erwin’s fleeing form—    
  
Levi’s heart froze, his sickening fears becoming a reality before his eyes.  _ Not today you bastard. _ _   
_ _   
_ The maneuver gear’s hooks pierced the Titan’s tanned shoulder with a cold click; Levi rendering the Titan’s extended arm to shreds in the blink of an eye. The colossus tumbled forward, Erwin veering the horses out of the way in time to avoid the steaming heap. Levi followed his prey like a wolfish fiend, bloodlust overcoming reason.   
  
Muffled shouts resounded from a distance, but Levi gave them no heed. Bloody carnage sung in his veins, demanding to be quenched.   
  
His lips peeled back into a vicious snarl, disgust emanating from every fiber of his being as Levi eyed at this colossal quarry. Trembling hands stilled at the dark thoughts that crept across his mind, swallowing the bile of rage that crept up his throat.   
  
With muted fury and singing steel, Levi continued his vicious craft.   
  
Steaming blood mingled with sweat and tears, evaporating before Levi had the time to wipe it away. The Abnormal writhed wretchedly in the crimson earth, rendered immobile with its severed limbs crumbling into dust. A pitiful moan escaped from the Titan’s yawning mouth, the creature inhaling more dirt than actual air.   
  
“Disgusting.” Levi scowled, latching onto the beast’s shoulders to finish the job, “And a waste of good air.”   
  
His blades sunk through the tanned hide with delicious ease, sending a trim hunk of nape to soar through the muggy air and finally crumbling into white ash. The beast stilled its squirming and succumbed to the embrace of death, a dying howl whistling through its crumbling form.   
  
Levi directed his reeling trajectory, landing on the ground with a hasty tumble to distribute the pressure. He picked himself up quickly, dusting off his cape with a huff as his discarded blades fell to the earth.    
  
With a sharp exhale; Levi took in the barren landscape around him, a blanket of red dust choking the steamy air. Fear gnawed at his gut, Levi’s watering eyes only able to spot the decaying skeletal remains of the Titan amidst the crimson haze.    
  
_ Erwin and the horses… Erwin… ERWIN _ _   
_ _   
_ Renewed shouting broke through the Abnormal’s death rattle, a familiar voice snapping Levi out of his breathless stupor:   
  
“BEHIND YOU.”   
  
A low growl breathed at Levi’s back, a swell of rancid, warm air buffeting the sweaty hair plastered to his skin. Goosebumps painfully prickled at his exposed flesh, weighty terror coating Levi’s twisted insides with lead.    
  
Levi turned in mute horror, his boots scuffing dirt as he gazed up into the gleaming, copper gaze of a 7-meter Titan. His molasses-like arms refused to obey, too slow to prepare his gear, too slow to stop the giant’s hand heading straight for him—   
  
The sweet whistle of steel cut the Titan’s advances short, their widened brown eyes glazing over with puzzlement. The Titan staggered away from Levi, raising their steaming stump of an arm wildly in defense. A green blur cut through the reddish smog around the giant’s head, two metal swords flashing in the sun’s weakening rays as Levi spotted that trademark blond hair billowing in the wind.   
  
A crazed grin flashed across Levi’s face, desperate relief breaking through the stifling plaster of despair that had been seemingly impenetrable before.    
  
With a clean slice Erwin brought the monster to its knees in a shuddering quake, jolting Levi’s stunned form while the earth groaned under its weight. With a bowed head, the Titan kneeled in reverence, joining the snowy ashes of its perished associate.    
  
The click and hiss of 3DM gear indicated a descent to his right, the landing figure rising from the cloud of rust like an ominous shadow. A clear voice resounded from the haze, “Levi.”   
  
Levi didn’t respond, feigning interest in the scratched surface of his remotes in his trembling hands. He closed his eyes, wishing to rid himself of the guilt that clung to him like the never-ending scarlet grime of this wasteland. If only he were capable of being purged so easily, Levi thought to himself bitterly.    
  
How could he be so weak… how could he… how could he—   
  
A gentle hand rested on his shoulder, the warmth shuddering through his paralyzed form. He peeled his eyes open, hastily sheathing his remotes to avoid looking at Erwin’s towering figure.   
  
“Levi.” Erwin repeated softly, “Levi, is everything…”   
  
“It’s fine.” The lie tasted sour on his tongue, his dry mouth thick and unwieldy to say much else. Seeing Erwin dancing on the fringes of death… Levi could never get used to that sight.   
  
Erwin hesitated, a moment passing before he continued, “I…I thought you heard my shouting, I didn’t realize…”   
  
Levi covered Erwin’s hand with his own, gazing into his blue eyes with an intent stare, “Next time… I’ll be the bait, okay?”   
  
Erwin blinked in understanding, his hand tightening on Levi’s shoulder, “Of course.”   
  
His heart sang at the gesture, a renewed vigor thrumming beneath his skin to drive out the lingering dread and anger from before. The single touch conveyed what a thousand words could never illustrate; and with his reputation as a poor wordsmith, Levi felt eternally grateful that he would never have to voice that painful truth.    
  
They both shouldered this heavy burden as soldiers, but bearing the weight as one kept the overarching shadows of despair at bay. A small comfort, but nonetheless a stable comfort that Levi clung onto for dear life in this world.   
  
Levi nodded, casting off the gloom and Erwin’s touch with an overhead stretch of his aching arms. With the dusty air finally settled and the Titan remains heaps of ash; Levi found himself wanting, “Now then…where the hell are the horses?”   
  
“They’re around.” Erwin said, raising his fingers to his mouth to let out a piercing whistle. The jarring screech rung clear across the barren landscape, Levi cringing internally at the strident sound that put nails on a chalkboard to shame.    
  
Grinding his teeth to rid himself of the ringing unease in his jaw, Levi grumbled, “The best whistler in the Corps my ass. You’re a goddamn banshee.”   
  
The telltale clatter of hooves reverberated from the distance, a shrill whinny imitating the high-pitched whistle. Two dots of black and white on the horizon came into focus, their steady gallop aimed towards Erwin and Levi.   
  
Erwin’s face shone with delight at the response, a smug grin shattering his previously stoic demeanor, “It seems that this banshee is the one to get our rides back.”   
  
Levi bowed in mock gratitude, “Thank you Commander, my sore ass is indebted to you and your shitty whistling.”   
  
“I’m not a bad whistler,” Erwin said defensively, “it is custom that the Commander of the Survey Corps has an effective whistle to command the attention of their men. It’s all about strategic positioning.”   
  
“…You just made that up, didn’t you?”   
  
Erwin crossed his arms, his crinkling blue eyes betraying his feigned hurt; “I would never. It is an ages old tradition that the Commander must know how to whistle.”   
  
“Is that so—“   
  
The loud snorting of the horses halted Levi’s next thought, bounding out of the way just in time to avoid being trampled by their massive hooves. Levi rolled across the red earth, inhaling more of the cursed red dust in the process.    
  
Failing to fully brush off his new coating of earth, Levi arose sullenly to find a smug Erwin already in the saddle. His blue eyes scoured Levi in his ruddy form, finding a small satisfaction in his current filthy state. “Whenever you’re ready, Levi.”   
  
With an agitated stomp the mare swished her tail impatiently, eager to continue the journey. What a perfect foil to his mood, Levi thought crossly.   
  
Levi heaved himself into saddle with a sigh; managing to croak through his parched throat, “Fuck tradition. Let’s get the hell to wherever we’re going already.”   
  
Erwin said smoothly, “You’ll be happy to hear then that tradition is actually why we are here in the first place.”    
  
“Oh?” Levi snapped, shaking a ridiculous amount of dirt from his hair, “Ol’ Shadis and your other predecessors sending us off on some wild goose chase?”   
  
Erwin chuckled, spurring his white gelding onward, “You’ll get to decide that for yourself.”   


  
***   


  
An adobe cottage stood on the precipice of a rugged cliff, weathered from the various elements of this red wasteland. Its orange shell glowed a burnt red in the setting sun; the worn cracks spiraling from the exposed brick foundation a testament to its age. Rotted wood framed the solitary door and window in the front, the filthy glass providing a poor view of the darkened quarters within. Wild tangles of lavender and rosemary hugged the sides of the cottage, the only signs of life besides the invasive weeds that dotted the yard.   
  
All that was needed was a tumbleweed to chance across his path and Vacation Desolation would be complete, Levi thought with a weary sigh.   
  
Levi called out, not bothering to hide the disappointment in his voice, “Erwin? What’s going on?”    
  
The rickety oaken door swung open on cue, its rusted hinges screeching to reveal a caped man in the doorframe.    
  
Erwin opened his arms wide, announcing with a broad grin: “Welcome, Levi, to the Eagle’s Nest.”   
  
Levi cocked an eyebrow, shifting his weight with one hand on his hip. “This… hovel doesn’t seem to be worthy of a lavish title such as that.”   
  
Erwin paid no mind to Levi’s disapproval, running an eager hand across the adobe surface, “This has been in the possession of the Survey Corps for almost as long as it has been a branch of the military. I presume it was built before Titans roamed the earth.”    
  
“I would believe that,” Levi said, kicking a pebble across the gravel yard, “Just look at that rotted wood and exposed foundation; I doubt it would last another week—“    
  
Erwin’s hand faltered along the wooden frame, breaking off a sizable splinter in his palm. He smiled sheepishly, “It could use some repair, true. But it has been around for this long, I don’t think it’s going to give out unless we experience some extreme weather.”    
  
“So, do you expect us to spend the night here? In this shitty shack that’s very likely to kill us?” Levi crossed his arms in adamant stubbornness. “I refuse.”   
  
In a blink Levi found himself in a towering shadow, shirking slightly at the sudden wraith-like appearance of Erwin before him. The laidback ambiance of the cottage evaporated in the evening air, replaced by the crackling electricity emanating from Erwin’s rigid outline and eclipsed face.    
  
Levi had to pinch himself under his cloak to rebel against Erwin’s mind games, but he couldn’t hold back a small shudder as those frosted eyes grazed over his body. Piece by piece his gaze dissected Levi under the presence of this overbearing sun, radiating a bone-rattling chill in place of playful warmth. Thick eyebrows furrowed in intensity, the paralyzing Commander stare throttling to full strength behind those chiseled cheekbones and icy blue eyes.   
  
Barely moving his pursed lips, Erwin murmured in a low voice, “What if I were to order you to stay with me in this cottage?”   
  
Erwin traced his hand longingly along the back of Levi’s cloak, playing with the evergreen folds with a feather-light touch. The urge to lean into his open grasp was exhausting for Levi, but he maintained an iron stance, never severing eye contact.   
  
“You wouldn’t do that.” Sweat trickled down the back of Levi’s neck, his heart pounding against his ribcage.   
  
“Oh wouldn’t I?” Erwin’s cobalt eyes gleamed with a sinister fire, “You would commit insubordination against your Commander?”    
  
Levi narrowed his eyes, annoyance biting at his words, “Erwin, I—“   
  
Erwin murmured, leaning closer until Levi could practically taste the spearmint in his breath, “Would it really be that bad? Staying in a run-down cabin for just one night?”   
  
Levi exhaled, snaring Erwin’s trailing hand within his grasp, “Erwin, if you cut out this hypno-bullshit I’ll agree to stay for one night in your shitty cabin.”    
  
The Commander immediately lowered his intimidating façade, a small grin tugging at the corner of his mouth, “Thank you Le—“   
  
Levi’s iron gaze held however, unflinching as he roughly tugged Erwin’s bolo tie down to get him on his level: “However, if you play those fucking mind games with me again I swear to the walls you’ll be wiping your ass with one hand for the rest of your life.”    
  
“I have no doubt that you’ll be good to your word.” Erwin remarked, his stony face as impassive as ever.   
  
Levi hissed, tightening his grip with his gray eyes still ablaze. “Agreed?”   
  
“Agreed.” Erwin said softly, adjusting his bolo as soon as Levi relinquished it, his eyes alight with this devious pleasure.    
  
“Now that that’s settled,” Levi said, setting his sights on the adobe dwelling; “You untack the horses while I see if there’s anything I can do to improve our living conditions.”   
  
Erwin nodded, “Alright, I’ve left a crate of supplies for ourselves in there, but don’t move the parcel near the bedside table, I have a special place for that.”   
  
“If you say so.” Striding past Erwin to the entrance, Levi stepped through the creaky doorway and into the adobe cabin.    
  
It was a modest single room cottage, a large window overlooking the vast valley landscape it beheld from the stony ledge. Wiping away the grime from the window with a spare rag, Levi gazed in awe at the evergreen valley, so vastly different from the ruddy wasteland environment they currently inhabited.    
  
Levi looked back out the entrance, following the path to where Erwin tended to the horses. Yellow grass poked through the cobblestone path that wound its way from the entrance to the courtyard, the dirt lot caked with that familiar red earth. A repurposed log beneath a wooden cover served as a tying post for their horses, their bulky tack spread across sun-bleached panels. Erwin worked diligently, checking on the condition of their horses as well as the state of their belongings.   
  
Back inside the cabin, a queen size bed was situated in the far right corner topped with folded sheets that Levi presumed Erwin had packed for this occasion. A small nightstand stood at the right of the bed that held the wooden parcel Erwin spoke of. Rectangular in shape, Levi had no earthly clue as to its contents, but left it alone as he was asked.   
  
A small kitchenette with an old-fashioned pump iron sink lined the left corner of the cabin. With a few rough thrusts, Levi was able to get clear water running in little time, impressed that it still functioned after all this time. The kitchen table wobbled under any given pressure, its fourth leg cut shorter than the rest.   
  
Levi breathed in the musty, cool air, followed by a lovely hint of rich earth and lavender. The clay earth building kept the inside well insulated from hot and cold weather, perfect for year round use.   
  
It took nearly half an hour for the inside to be as close to cleanliness perfection as Levi could get: the shining windows rid of their cloudy opaque screens, the stony floor free of all grime, the straw bed tucked with clean sheets, and their supplies spread neatly across the now steady kitchen table.   
  
Levi now noticed the sun had finally set, putting out several candlesticks to keep the room moderately lit. A half moon hung low in the night sky, a scattering of white stars and constellations casting its weak beams across the courtyard. A faint lantern light could be seen swaying in the distance, Erwin’s dark form bringing in the final package.   
  
Gathering their 3DM gear and dirty clothing, Levi piled it near the bedside corner for organization. Pulling out a nightshirt and drawstring pants for eveningwear after taking a thorough sponge bath with the aid of the sink, Levi felt relieved to finally feel clean at last.    
  
Not a speck of red dust was allowed within the cabin’s confines, and Levi was delighted to bask in his small victory against the devil’s dirt.   
  
Levi collapsed heavily against the straw mattress, unfeeling as the pungent stubble stabbed at his backside. A rattling moan escaped his lips, his pride in his housework paling in comparison to how drained he felt from the events of today.    
  
Riding on horseback for god knows how long, encountering Titans, and Erwin...    
  
Levi blocked his red-tinged sight with a leaden arm, praying that the straw mattress would be merciful on his aching spine. Compared to the rest of the Corps right now, this musty bed was a step below sleeping on heavenly clouds. Situated just right on the bed and lying in perfect resting temperature, Levi felt confident that he would get decent shut eye for the first time on this expedition.    
  
All that was missing was…   
  
“You look quite peaceful like that, almost innocent.” Erwin remarked, his velvet voice a relief to his ears .   
  
Levi muttered, keeping his eyes covered, “If you come any closer before washing yourself, you’ll find out just how ‘innocent’ I can be.”   
  
“Already done.” Footsteps approached the bed, the scent of lye and fresh cotton filtering through the warm air. “I’m almost ready.”   
  
Levi entwined his legs in the cotton sheets, flickering hope taking root in his fatigued core. The entire trip had led up to this moment, the prize of Levi’s exhaustive efforts hovered just within his grasp.   
  
Longing to be held in those gentle arms, to feel the light caress of hands threading rhythmically through his hair, breathless kisses tickling the base of his neck… the overwhelming ache that shuddered through his spine was agonizing for Levi.    
  
“Good.” Levi murmured, beckoning to the empty space beside him, “Now, if you don’t mind...”   
  
The shuddering scrape of wood on stone rudely snapped Levi out of his reverie, lurching forward on the mattress. With a furrowed brow Levi scanned the area to locate the source of the sound, finding Erwin kneeling at the base of the nightstand with the mysterious parcel beside him.    
  
Levi held back a snide remark, a small flame of curiosity igniting within in his chest. He cocked his head in interest, watching Erwin’s movements closely as he gently dragged the furniture several feet away from the base of the wall, continuing the grating groan of wood on stone.   
  
“Erwin.” Levi said, throwing off the covers with a flourish, “What are you doing?”   
  
Erwin didn’t glance at Levi’s movement, dedicating his focus to the gradual task at hand. “This…this is the reason why we’re here.”   
  
Levi dangled off the edge of the bed, slumping in disappointment, “Gee Erwin, if you wanted to spend the night rearranging furniture, you only had—“   
  
A jarring click from the nightstand sent a tremor through the cabin, bits of foundation falling from the crevices in the ceiling. Furniture rattled ominously, Levi steadying himself on the bed with a sturdy arm as he watched their carefully stacked items topple to the ground. Chilling uncertainty crept up Levi’s spine, but one look at Erwin’s unruffled complexion ceased his worry.   
  
Erwin rose to his feet, placing a flat palm against the trembling adobe as he gazed intently at the surface as if he saw the secrets it held within. A look of childlike ecstasy broke out across his composed face, lowering his palm from the center of the quivering wall to its base.   
  
The trembling shifted from the adobe walls into the cobblestone floor, dark lines arching across the gray grout in hypnotizing fluidity. Spiraling around the largest inlayed stone the cracks deepened, halting the tremors with an earsplitting crack.   
  
Levi blinked, staring in awe as the center stone sunk into the foundation with a rocky groan, a puff of red dust sinking into the newly formed hole.    
  
“…to ask.”   
  
Erwin let out a slow exhale, his outline taut with unbridled exhilaration. “That’s that then.” He brushed off his pale nightclothes with hasty hands, purging himself of the grime that had fallen from the ceiling.   
  
Erwin turned to Levi; his eyes alight with a rare wonder that Levi could only recall having seen twice in his life. “Shall we?”   
  
Levi scoffed, dusting off his own sandy apparel with a swipe of his shoulder, “I’m not climbing down there if that’s what you mean.”   
  
“I don’t think we could even if we tried,” Erwin said somberly, kneeling on the rim of the crate-sized hole, “A cat or dog could traverse down there, but it’s certainly not meant for a human host.”   
  
Levi crossed his arms expectantly, “So? What are you waiting for?”   
  
“What?”    
  
A mischievous smirk crossed Levi’s face, repeating his words with sweet relish, “What are you waiting for? There’s only one way to find out what’s down there.”   
  
Erwin glanced down at the gaping void, shooting Levi a pleading look, “Uh, I was actually hoping that—“   
  
“Nuh-uh.” Levi stated firmly, leaning against the wall with ease, “This is meant solely for the Commander. I wouldn’t dream of depriving you of that honor.”   
  
Erwin swallowed hard, forming a fist with his left hand, “I mean, we could just—“    
  
“Erwin, if scaredy-cat Shadis did this himself however long ago, I’m sure you’ll be just fine. Just do it.”   
  
“Fine.” Erwin huffed, rolling up his left sleeve with a flourish, “Let’s get this over with.”   
  
He went flat against the floor, Levi monitoring closely as Erwin slowly lowered his hand into the black pit. A few moments passed, silence swelling between the two of them.   
  
“See? This isn’t so bad.” Levi said admiringly, checking under his nails for grime, “You have the longer arms between the two of us, so this works perfectly.”   
  
“That’s—that’s easy for you to say.” Erwin squirmed, his plastered blonde hair disheveled from his constant readjusting. “This space is bigger than it looks, I can’t imagine what—”   
  
Levi looked up as Erwin grew still, his words trailing off in an abrupt hush. A few seconds passed, Levi expecting a quirky remark to shatter the choking stillness.    
  
“Erwin…?” Levi called out, his voice sharp with concern, “Erwin did you find something?”   
  
Erwin remained mute, his legs no longer scraping the stony floor to better his reach. Only the slow rise and fall of his sculpted shoulders denoted any sign of life.   
  
A chill settled in the crux of his stomach, Levi rising from his laidback slant to approach the pit. He carefully stepped over Erwin’s body, looking at his front side that had remained hidden from Levi’s previous viewpoint. Levi took a knee, getting closer to peer at Erwin’s face.   
  
His eyes remained closed; his lips slightly ajar as the low hush of breathing passed through them. Several strands of hair fell across his pale face, giving Erwin an angelic appearance as if his dreamy expression were chiseled from marble.   
  
Levi’s heart welled up at the sight, stark relief driving away his fear. “As to be expected: falling asleep on the job—“   
  
Erwin’s eyes shot open, “AGGH!! I’ve got it!!”    
  
Holding back a cry of surprise, Levi practically jumped a foot out of his skin. Toppling backwards over Erwin’s legs, Levi slammed his head against the adobe and landed hard onto the ground. He felt confident that a welt the size of his fist would adorn the back of his skull by the morning, rubbing the tender spot with his hand.   
  
He blinked away the dizziness from his watery eyes, Levi watching a triumphant Erwin pull forth a silvery bottle from the depths of the pit.   
  
“I’ve got it!” Erwin said proudly, wiping the smeared dust from his face with a shaking arm, “I can’t believe it took me so long.”   
  
His shining gaze fell on Levi’s crouched form, the light from his eyes extinguishing immediately as he scurried over to the wall, “Levi, Levi, are you okay? What happened?”   
  
“Don’t worry about it,” Levi insisted, placing a reassuring hand on Erwin’s shoulder as he ignored his throbbing skull, “My dumb ass was just scared shitless by your little prank.”   
  
Erwin’s apologetic face was sincere; his blue eyes brimming with worry, “I’m so sorry Levi, I didn’t mean for it to happen like this—“   
  
“I said not to worry, Erwin. It’s done.” Levi said, unable to hide a small chuckle, “Tell me what you found in there.”   
  
With a stiff arm, Erwin handed Levi a dusty gray bottle, “This is what Shadis left for us. It looks like vodka, but the label would let us know for sure.”   
  
Levi fingered the bottle’s paper label, nearly illegible with its crinkled aging and smudges of scarlet marks encompassing the dusty container. Levi winced, the iron tang of fresh blood welling up in his nostrils. “Erwin, look at your hand.”    
  
“That’s what that was.” Erwin remarked, inspecting his bleeding hand in the soft candlelight, “Must’ve cut myself down there.”   
  
“We need to clean and bandage your wound.” Levi swiftly arose, putting aside the vodka on the table along with the other supplies, “The last thing we need is for that to get infected.”   
  
“Alright but give me a moment, I think there was something else down there that I missed.” Before Levi could protest Erwin crawled over to the pit again, this time lowering his right arm into the hole.   
  
Levi breathed a few choice words at Erwin under his breath, resuming his search for the medical kit amongst the pile of supplies. Before long Levi found a small bottle of rubbing alcohol, a rag, and some sterile bandages.   
  
At the same time Erwin emerged from the hole, clenching a bundle of papers tightly in his grasp. Erwin beamed, a breathless smile etched across his face, “Got ‘em.”   
  
“Bed.” Levi growled, slamming the medical supplies and old vodka on the protruding nightstand. “Now.”   
  
Erwin obliged, sliding onto the straw mattress and propping himself up on the thin pillows. He left the yellowed papers to his side, trying to glimpse beyond the thick binding twine but it was no use without the aid of his hands.    
  
Erwin was careful to keep his injured hand level, avoiding dripping blood on the cotton sheets. “Thank you, Levi.” Erwin murmured, his blue eyes watching Levi’s pale hands at work, tearing out rags from a piece of clean linen.    
  
“I haven’t done anything yet, Erwin.” Levi held out his hand expectantly, impatiently beckoning with his fingers, “Let me see it.”   
  
Erwin surrendered his injured hand to Levi’s grasp, his smaller hands dwarfed in size compared to Erwin’s single hand. Levi sighed, sopping up the running streams of scarlet with a tender dab. “You’ve got to be more careful. You often deprive yourself of the same care that you give to others.”   
  
“Well this could be worse. Could’ve been my right hand.” Erwin joked lightly.    
  
Erwin remained impassive as Levi’s fingers clenched, applying a little more pressure than necessary as he finished cleaning the cut. Levi shot him a steely glare, his thin eyebrows furrowed in displeasure.    
  
Levi said tersely, applying rubbing alcohol to a cloth, “Left hand or not, not noticing and tending to your own injuries is one of your greater faults. You’re the Commander, not invincible.”    
  
“This is just a cut Levi, I’ll learn to be more care—“ Erwin faltered, the sharp burn of disinfectant enflaming his wound, “—ful with my injuries in the future.”    
  
Careful to not leave too much disinfectant, Levi wiped away the excess, bringing forth the spool of gauze. Light fingers spun the snowy gaze around his hand, sealing the wound with an even balance of tension and comfort. Levi’s hand trailed across Erwin’s for one last time, tracing the length of his fingers before bequeathing it to Erwin with a tender kiss.    
  
“Thank you.” Erwin murmured, his wrapped hand caressing Levi’s cheek. Levi held it there with his own, melting beneath the warmth of his hand and those gentle blue eyes.   
  
Levi’s gray eyes softened, his iron tongue falling weak to the alluring happiness that pulsated through his racing heart. “Of course.”   
  
The mystery of the bound letters and the unopened bottle bubbled to the forefront of Levi’s mind, the wick on the candle of curiosity aflame once again. “Let’s see what gifts Shadis and past Commanders have left for us here.”   
  
A familiar smile winked in Erwin’s eyes, the excitement of the unknown returning to full swing. “Agreed.”   
  
Levi snatched the bottle from the desk as Erwin wrestled with the thick twine, appraising the clear liquid with a sharp eye. With a hard twist of the purple crested top, Levi wrenched the alcohol open, the pungent smell of vodka assaulting his senses.    
  
Erwin laughed, watching Levi’s startling reaction with smiling eyes, “It’s a good thing I brought a Bordeaux for my present.” Nodding to the mysterious parcel that he spoke of earlier, “Next time we come here, that will be much more pleasant to enjoy.”   
  
“Assuming there is a next time,” Levi retorted, his mind going back to the throbbing welt on his head, “It depends on how smoothly the rest of the night goes.”    
  
Levi held the bottle away from his face, eyes watering at the heady scent that reminded him more of the pungent disinfectant, “I think this is vodka… but it smells like something died in there.”   
  
“Let me see.” Erwin took over, scattering the unbound papers across his lap as he cradled the bloodied vintage with an appraising eye. Erwin took a generous swig, Levi gaping as he continued to swallow for more than just a tasting sample.   
  
Levi ogled, “What are you doing, that’s way too much—“   
  
After four gulps it was clear he could take no more, Erwin gasping for air as he twisted the ancient bottle from his mouth. A few sputtering coughs and a slap on the back from Levi brought him back to life, his blue eyes shining with a newfound glaze. “Oh yeah, that’s the stuff.”    
  
Erwin licked his lips, deep in thought, “I remember… Keith kept this stuff in his desk, only drank it after visiting the interior…” He let out a barking laugh, “Wanted to forget about the clamor of the leeches for a little while…”   
  
“…Don’t know why he would leave that behind, though.” Erwin mused, “Guess that was his way of warning the person that was stupid enough to take his place…”   
  
“I’m sure he just didn’t have anything better to put in there.” Prying the bottle from Erwin’s grasp, Levi said cautiously, “Lets not get ahead of ourselves here, ok?”    
  
“Fine…” Erwin mumbled, but he kept an eye on the dusty relic as he flipped through the papers.   
  
Levi picked up the first letter on top of the pile, hoping to distract Erwin from the bottle, “Look here, it’s a note from Shadis.”   
  
“’To my predecessor,’” Erwin read aloud, his fingers crinkling the yellowed parchment, “’it is here that I detail a list of regrets that I held during my time as Commander of the Survey Corps. It is to only ensure that these mistakes are not repeated for the future generation of Commanders…’”   
  
“He had access to a secret safe in the middle of nowhere to fill up with anything he could have wanted, and the bastard choses to write down a ‘Not-to-Do’ List for his successor?” Levi said curtly, reaching for the bottle. “That guy had a stick up his ass no matter when the occasion.”   
  
“This is true.” Erwin admitted, his blue eyes intently scouring the paper. “But Keith had noble intentions for this branch, even if he was poor at executing them.”   
  
Levi leaned over, raising the bottle to his mouth, “Anything useful in there?”   
  
Erwin was quiet, his laps parting to mouth the rest of the letter’s contents in silence. A somber shadow passed over his glowing demeanor, the lively spark in his eyes dimming in the candlelight.   
  
Levi took a swig, the burning liquid coating his throat as he breathed in the fumes that had more in common with gasoline than liquor. He sputtered, choking on the vodka as he coughed to clear his airways, his eyes watering from the exertion.    
  
“…Erwin?” Levi rasped, wiping his mouth with an arm as he appraised Erwin’s stony figure with concern, “Did you find something in there?”   
  
“No.” Erwin said finally, folding the letter in his hands with measured precision. “Nothing in there that I don’t already know.”   
  
Levi didn’t press the issue, making a desperate grab for the other letters to rekindle the vein of excitement from earlier, “Let’s take a look at these ones. They probably have more interesting things to say than Shadis’ wise proverbs.”   
  
He delicately unfolded a mottled letter, glancing to his right at Erwin’s hunched form, praying that this would work. “’To whomever reads this, and I confess this fault with great shame, know that in the basement of the supply building of the Stohess MP barracks lies…”    
  
“What?” Erwin perked up, interest unfurling in his voice, “What is it?”   
  
Levi hesitated, his lips curling in disgust. “’…lies the true burial location of one Thomas Gunderson, the leader of the 4th squad.’”   
  
Erwin cocked an eyebrow, “Well, that’s considerably more interesting.” He looked over Levi’s shoulder; his eyes alight with intrigue, “What else did they say?”   
  
“’I admit here in this letter that I am loath to tell anywhere else the true circumstances surrounding his death. Thomas was a good soldier and a benefit to humanity, but he had a fondness for the drink and abused his authority over certain subordinates on numerous occasions...’”   
  
“Fascinating.” Erwin remarked, settling down on the pillows as he stole another drink from the bottle. Levi was content to see the invisible weight lifted from Erwin’s shoulders, his pale cheeks blushing with every gulp.   
  
Levi continued, “’…but due to his connections from the interior, I was unable to remove him from his position in the Corps. Thomas was a popular career man, and his sole intention to replace me as soon as a Titan or man killed me was evident. With his squad’s 100% survival rate it was clear that Thomas would never die outside the walls, that much I knew to be true...’”   
  
“Amazing.” Erwin said in awe, chuckling darkly as his cheeks became flushed with the drink. “Thomas sounds like a lot like me…”   
  
“Except you never abused your subordinates,” Levi exhaled, trying in vain to snatch the bottle from Erwin with his free hand, “But if you keep abusing the vodka like that, you’ll certainly nail down the alcoholic part.”   
  
Erwin slurred, stretching the bottle away from Levi’s reach, “No, no, no, I’m fineeee. Don’t worry about me,” He showed a pearly smile, his blue eyes winking with innocence at a scowling Levi. “Finish the letter.”   
  
Levi sighed, continuing with resignation, “’…I had to take matters about his disposal into my own hands. Inviting him with me on my visit to the interior, I lied to him that I was planning my immediate resignation and that I wished for him to take up my mantle. He believed me wholly, never suspecting anything when I drugged his drink at the Wretched Wench and helped him walk in his drunken stupor back to the barracks...’”   
  
“I know of the Wretched Wench…” Erwin murmured fondly, knocking back another swallow of vodka, “Mike, Nile, and I used to drink there as cadets, back in our trainee days whenever we were lucky enough to visit the interior.”   
  
“’…It was only when he found himself trapped in a hole in the floor of the basement when he drew out of his reverie. A supply of unmixed cement aided me in his burial, his desperate cries for help quickly swallowed up by the molasses-like gravel. I’ll never forget his final look, his amber eyes ablaze with a frightening fury to look like the devil himself as he was engulfed by the gray mass. Several mishaps in filing and a lengthy paper trail convinced the nobles and the soldiers that he had died beyond the walls, fighting in the name of glory for humanity. But the truth is that his death was a glorious victory for humanity in itself, and although it pains me to say so, I know I was righteous in committing this heinous deed…’”   
  
Painful goosebumps shrouded Levi’s skin like a dreadful cloak, the apparent warmth of the room dropping to a merciless chill at the echo of his words. Levi shivered involuntarily, setting down the letter as he looked to Erwin for a response.    
  
“…What the actual fuck?”   
  
Erwin remained unruffled, taking the letter in his hand with a sharp glance, “’…Signed, the 9th Commander of the Survey Corps, Hans Bismarck…’”    
  
“Are you going to tell the MPs about this?” Levi questioned, bringing up the cotton sheets to drive away the haunting chill. Even with his history of the dark Underground, Levi was still amazed at the inhumanity that fell through the cracks in the façade of the military.    
  
Erwin’s gaze was pure ice, placing the letter next to Shadis’ with revulsion. “If there’s anything that I’ve learned, it’s that secrets like this best stay buried.”    
  
A shadow crossed his face, taking another sip of vodka; “It wouldn’t do anything but slander the history of the Corps and likely have the nobles calling for my head for justice.”   
  
“What they don’t know can’t hurt them.” Levi agreed hastily, eager to get rid of the unease that wormed through his stomach. “Let's read one more.”   
  
Erwin took a sealed letter in his hands, tracing his thumb over the wings embossed in the red wax seal. The yellowed paper crackled in his grasp, threatening to disintegrate into dust as he read aloud the faded cursive: “’…It is my wish to leave behind a testament of my love for my dearest wife, Martha Rosetta Anders, the woman who made me the Commander I am today…’”   
  
“It’s a love letter.” Levi said, kicking back his covered legs in disappointment, “Why would someone not give this to them personally, instead of having us read it.”   
  
“’…I owe them my life, serving faithfully as my aide during my darkest hours and ensuring that I dedicated myself to this institution…’” Erwin read, his flushed cheeks darkening with every word, “’…working tirelessly as my squad leader and supporting me as my wife, Martha was incredible in every sense of the word…’”   
  
“This is cheesier than the love-struck cadets that fuck in the stables at night.” Levi sighed, twirling a finger in the sheets, “Continue.”   
  
Erwin paused, resuming quietly, “’…but even in death she continues to drive me forward, giving me the unwavering strength I need to fight for humanity. Knowing that every step I take is in her honor, to stand as a symbol for the freedom that she died fighting for that is what I continue to live for, the duty that propels me to never sink into despair…’”    
  
“’…I will always love you Martha, and I look forward to the day when I can hold you in my arms again… Sincerely, Morgan Crisfelgh, 7th Commander of the Survey Corps…’” Erwin put the letter down with a trembling hand, looking at Levi with shining eyes.   
  
“They wrote nothing about themselves.” Levi noted, oblivious to Erwin as he turned over the letter, “Not even a—“    
  
Erwin snatched up Levi in tight embrace, pulling him forward into his constricting grip. Erwin burrowed his face in the crux of his shoulder, entwining his arms around Levi’s torso with an iron grip. Hiding his surprise, Levi bit back a snappish response and followed suit, wrapping his arms around Erwin’s leaning form.    
  
“I…I…I don’t want to lose you,” Erwin mumbled, his drunken slur doing little to hide the cracking in his voice. “I can’t…I can’t…” His shoulders shook as Erwin let out a shuddering sigh, a warm wetness dripping onto Levi’s shirt.   
  
Levi started, looking down at Erwin in his huddled form with a tender gaze. He gently ran his fingers through Erwin’s blond hair, rhythmically shifting the strands into place. He leaned forward, pressing his face on the top of Erwin’s head. With a slow inhale, Levi breathed in the faint smell of soap and powder that lightly dusted his golden hair. His throbbing heart skipped a beat, finding refuge in Erwin and his solid presence. A concrete being that he could touch, hold, and love… and that he never ever wanted to let go of.   
  
He squeezed tightly, Erwin’s sturdy frame melting under Levi’s snug embrace. Levi breathed softly in his ear; wet kisses falling from his eyelashes: “You won’t. I’ll always be there by your side.”   
  
“...I want you to be remembered here.” Erwin breathed, a raw ache in his delirious tone, “How important you are to me, what you’ve done for humanity…”   
  
Levi chuckled, cradling Erwin’s head in his hands, “Don’t forget about including yourself, you are the Commander after all—”   
  
“Of courseee, of courseee…” Erwin slurred, his grasp slackening while his voice drifted, “I…I… won’t forget about me…”    
  
Levi planted a gentle kiss on Erwin’s head, a small smile tugging at his lips as he listened to Erwin snoring softly against his chest. A sliver of comfort tugged at his heartstrings, the adobe cabin finally feeling at ease within Levi’s soul. Happiness with a certain truth welled the void in his heart, driving away the fears of tomorrow for just one night.   
  
Levi whispered, his voice low in utter reverence, “I won’t forget about you either.”   
  



End file.
